The Power of Two
Our Power of Two couple this month personify the term match-made-in-heaven. They were brought together by their love of music. Sanjay Shrestha, the lead drummer of 1974AD, has toured the world over and collaborated with the leading musicians of the world including Grammy Award winning bluegrass singer Peter Rowan, Max Lolo from Benin in West Africa, Richard Hardy the saxophone player for the Dave Matthews Band, and Sachal Vasandani, jazz vocalist from New York. He recently founded the House of Music a cozy and much sought-after live music venue in Kathmandu. His wife, Susan Shrestha, is an Australian. She has coordinated Jazzmandu, the premier Jazz Festival in Kathmandu.
How did you meet?
Sanjay: We met in 2002. But we just saw each other. We started dating in 2003.
Susan: I was coordinating Jazzmandu at that time so I had heard about the band. My roommate was making a documentary on the band so they started coming over. I got to know the band and Sanjay properly after that.
What was your first impression of each other?
Susan: My first impression was very positive. I thought he was smarter than he looked and that polite sweet young man's smile was hiding a lot of wisdom.
Sanjay: I knew about her because of her involvement in Jazzmandu. I even read about her in the paper. But I thought she was an older woman. After I saw her, I was like WOW! This is a cool chic. I liked her.
When did marriage happen?
Susan: 2 years after dating, in 2005. But we lived together before marriage.
How did life change after marriage?
Sanjay: Not after marriage but my life changed after we had our daughter, Chaya.
Susan: It did change in certain ways. You don't want to be doing what you did at 22 at 32. Life continuously changes but in some ways it stayed the same. We used to run errands together so we could spend some time together.We still love doing that just running together. One thing you would want to change about him/her.
Susan:His moustache. Get rid of it! (laughs)
Sanjay: I like to have music all the time when I'm home. From the time I get up till I get down. And when she comes stressed, she turns down the music while I am enjoying it. Just one thing but that's really not big a deal.
One thing that is common between both of you?
Susan: Love for music. We met through music and we both enjoy it. One thing you really like about each other.
Sanjay: She's a very concerned person. Be it neighbors or friends, she's always there. I like that very much.
Susan: It's not that I want to be an altruistic. But I like the neighbors' kids and when I'm out of country buying something for my kids I get something for them too. Music has always been there for both of you.
Does he play for you?
Susan: He does. He plays the guitar to songs I like to sing.
Do you have 'your song'?
Susan: He played the song "All I want is you" by U2 on our wedding. I love that very much. It always brings back memories.
Sanjay: For me, it would be Rolling Stone's 'Tangled up in blue'.
Do you have fights?
Susan: Every couple fights and I believe there's a reason why it happens. If I didn't care enough, I wouldn't fight and there's no one else I'd rather fight with than him. We had one fight before we had child. I walked was so angry I walked up Chabahil. And he's up there. I turned the other side. He finishes getting angry before I do.
How do you reconcile?
Susan: He's the one who usually approaches after a fight.
Sanjay: I always get calm before she does. Once I am out of it, I rush to make things better.
Susan: We get over it by the end of the day. It doesn't drag for days and longer.
Coming from two different upbringings, did the difference ever clash?
Susan: Our ways of parenting are of course different. Having a baby is like a project. But our daughter has grown up now and we've resolved our different ways of parenting to one approach. That's how it worked.
What do you believe is the key to a happy successful married life?
Susan: Marriage forces you to grow and children force you to grow even more. Marriage is a great opportunity to learn and know and be a happier person. What you lack, you can look up to your partner and learn. I need to have that kind of thing in my life where I slow down a bit and he compliments me perfectly.
Sanjay: Sometimes it just happens like you want to be with someone and you would do anything to be with that person. You make sacrifices and commitments.
Traditional Nepali clothes or western clothes for Susan?
Sanjay: I would like to see her in more Nepali attire. I want to see her in a saree. The one time she wore, I was away.
How do you manage your time? Do you stay in Nepal all the while or do you visit Australia too?
Susan: Basically, we're based in Nepal but I visit Australia often. He goes away for more than I do.
One romantic thing he/she does for you?
Susan: He buys so much stuff for me whenever he returns home after travelling. Recently he went to Doha and his suitcase was full of stuff for me. Just recently he went to Italy and because I love coffee so much, he brought me this Italian coffee in a big jar. That is really thoughtful.
